Bowl of Mush

For me, being a mom brings out the extremes of all emotions. I've experienced the greatest most awe inspiring moments of joy where I feel like my heart will explode into a million pieces of glittery sunshine, but then I've also been overwhelmed in a dark cloud of tiredness.

Sometimes I get so energized to create this beautiful life for my children and family and think about all of the things that I want to do:

lose weight! 

get healthy!

bake yummy things!

start an etsy shop!

make art!

clean out my closet!

read self help books!

find my passion! 

And then most of the time I'm 

just...

so...

tired.

I'm hoping that by having a place to collect my thoughts, I'll be able to accomplish more and create a clearer path to the life that I want.

Meal Plan Week 1/11

Every once in a while I'll sit down to meal plan and just completely draw a blank. As in I cannot remember a single thing that I ate the prior week. I sit there and think, "What the heck do I eat?!" I can't be the only one... can I??

Either way, this post is for all of us who can use a little inspiration in the meal planning area. A few weeks ago I thought about what was working for me and what wasn't working for me when it comes to meals and snacks that I bring to work. I realized a few key points:

1. Snacks have to be easy to pack and eat. For example, if I'm going to bring boiled eggs, peel them at home! By the end of the week I hadn't eaten a single egg.
2. Lunch has to be easy to pack and assemble.
3. I am much more likely to eat a healthy dinner if it's already made. As quick and easy as it is to cook shrimp and broccoli, after putting the girls to bed I am STARVING and just want to get food in my stomach. If I have to get a pan or turn the oven on, it's probably not happening!

Ok, on to the food.

Yesterday for lunch I had a can of tuna with a spoonful of plain Greek yogurt, sliced red onion, tons of black pepper, celery seed and (random) sliced cabbage. I had a bag of coleslaw mix and needed some crunch so I threw a handful in-- it was actually delicious!

Last week I made three big batches of food for the week.

• I made a batch of roasted veggies that had zucchini, red peppers and portobello mushrooms. After roasting them I put them in balsamic vinegar, olive oil and chopped fresh garlic. I ate them with a whole wheat pita and some goat cheese and it was freaking delicious. You could throw them in some pasta or just eat it as a side. It tasted better the longer that it marinated in the fridge.
• I made bean salad with black beans, corn, green bell pepper and cilantro. I topped it with those 90 calorie guacamole packets and it was a lunch that I looked forward to every day! You could also eat it as a side dish or with a whole wheat tortilla or brown rice. 
• I made a batch of no-mayo coleslaw which turned out to be a great thing to have on hand. I bought a bag of coleslaw mix which just has shredded cabbage and carrots in it. I made a dressing with lots of vinegar, some mustard, celery salt and a little bit of olive oil. I also put in lots of black pepper. It was an easy way to get veggies in throughout the week and something that I made again this week.

This week I made a batch of Greek brown rice salad with grilled shrimp. I originally wanted to make it with orzo but forgot to buy it. I had brown rice at home so I used that instead.

I made the brown rice and then while it was still warm added lemon juice and some olive oil. I added chopped parsley, dried oregano, green bell pepper, red onion and feta. I grilled the shrimp with some garlic and black pepper. Next time I'd definitely add more veggies like artichoke hearts or chopped tomatoes.

I also made a batch of veggies and beans that I didn't take a picture of yet. I sauteed zucchini, mushrooms, bell pepper and a yellow onion with garlic and olive oil. I added some fire roasted chopped tomatoes, black beans and a ton of chili spices. The recipe called for a cornbread topping which I nixed at the last minute. I took some of the mixture out before I added the spices and the girls loved it! I haven't eaten it yet but I'm hoping that it's a keeper.

For snacks this week I got plain Greek yogurt to eat with almonds, packs of plain oatmeal, oranges and bananas. Breakfast has been either eggs with steamed broccoli or cottage cheese with pineapple. I will post my meal plan for next week too. I know that my meals may not be the most exciting but it works for me! I hope that it might give you some new ideas of what to make. 

I pressed play

My girls had their nine month check up today. 

I dressed them warmly in layers, packed the essentials- two diapers, wipes, two teethers, a burp cloth, one emergency bottle and pacifiers just in case. I carried them both out to the car in one trip and headed to the doctor's. I met my husband there with five minutes to spare. We carried the girls in and sat in the lobby chatting with the girls and each other. I balanced Emma on my knee while I filled out the clipboard. During the appointment we took turns with the girls, entertaining them, answering questions, soothing them after their shots.

It was easy. Enjoyable actually. If you told me nine months ago that a trip to the doctor's didn't have to include meltdowns (from me and the babies), lots of crying and the need for a stiff drink, I would have laughed in your face.

After nine months of being twin parents, we were on our game. We've got this. On our way out of the office we passed by a very tired looking couple with a brand new baby. I smiled at them and thought about our past visits to the doctor's and all of the missteps that we've had.

Like how I used to pack their diaper bag like I was crossing the Alps. Or the time that we were fifteen minutes late to the appointment because we totally undeestimated how long it would take to get week old twins in the car. Or the time that I put them both in complicated outfits and started sweating as the nurse watched me get them undressed. And that time that I didn't bring the pacifiers because "they won't need them!," only to have two screaming babies and a whole lobby staring at me on the way out. 

It happens. You learn as you go and figure out what works best. I'm proud of myself and where I am today as Mom. Now that the girls are getting close a year old I can feel a mommy fog lifting a bit. I've been thinking a lot about my needs and wants lately and finally feel like I'm in a place where I can go after my goals. I feel uncomfortable in my body and know that I want to be a great example for my girls. I want to be healthy and active and eat good food. I know what I need to do, I just need to do it.

Last night after the girls went to bed I felt exhausted. I cleaned up the kitchen, picked up the 90 toys in the living room, wiped down the high chair trays and threw a load of laundry in the dryer. I looked at the time and desperately wanted to crawl into bed. But I knew that I'd feel great if I worked out. I got my workout DVD cued up, went upstairs to put on my sneakers and then I did something for myself.

I pressed play.

It's time for me to take care of myself like I take care of my daughters. I'm going to be the best Mom and best me that I can be. I just have to put the work in. One day at a time.