The holidays can be particularly difficult when you are dealing with infertility. Thankfully, I'm feeling pretty cheerful this December. Last year we were still dealing with losing the pregnancy so the holidays were a little less shiny. This year since we are still just waiting for my next cycle to start, I feel pretty free. I haven't checked my temperature and I'm not obsessed with getting knocked up. I know that soon we can start all of the tests, figure out what's going on and have a plan! Baby K 2013! (I was thinking of getting that as a bumper sticker but that might be awkward?)
This weekend I felt like a stereotypical non-mom. We took the dogs to get their picture with Santa on Saturday, which was ridiculously funny. I sent the photo to my mother (the woman who isn't know for her fondness of pets) and she responded, "It's cute! This is a new one for me." I'm sure my poor mother would have preferred a picture of chubby kid on Santa's lap, but this year she's stuck with a picture of one dog in a sweater and one dog in a Patriot's jersey. Sorry Mom!
On Sunday we went to the mall to do some shopping and to get to Sephora, aka my heaven on earth, we walked right by Santa and the crazy long line filled with kids of all ages and stages of meltdown. At one point a cute little girl in a frilly dress ran out from the line right under my feet and I nearly tripped over her. Her mother looked at me and gave me the half laugh and smile that said, "I'm sorry my daughter nearly broke your neck, but isn't she cute??!" I smiled back but was thinking, "Lady, your kid aint that cute." I'm kidding, I promise. The little girl was adorable, but I do say these inappropriate things in my head and it makes me laugh... internally.
After surviving the mall we went home to wrap presents and relax. We sprawled out on the floor in front of the tree and wrapped up all of the presents that had in the house. This is what I'm focusing on this holiday season- being present and being grateful. I could look at our life and see a hole where a baby shoulda/woulda/coulda be, but that would be false and damaging. There is nothing lacking from our lives. We have each other, a loving family, a roof over our heads, jobs and our health. Baby or not, you bet that you can find us stringing up lights, drinking hot chocolate, wrapping presents, baking and watching cheesy Christmas movies for the next few weeks.
No comments:
Post a Comment