On my way to work this morning I had a genius idea of something that I could google to help me "cut weight." As soon as I got into work I searched "how to make weight for wrestling." I shit you not.
Apparently I need a sauna, laxatives and possibly a garbage bag suit.
I might have completely lost my mind.
While I won't be making any trips to the sauna, I'm definitely going to continue eating my high protein diet, drink lots of water and work out. I'm also hoping that even if I'm a pound or two away from my goal, my doctor might cut me some slack and note that I'm at the right BMI. Fingers crossed.
In other news, my period is on its way and it's weird to think that this might be the last period I have before my LMP. For those of you who don't know, when your due date is calculated they always ask you for the date of your last menstrual period (LMP). I should be getting my next period in May and if IVF goes according to plan, THAT WILL BE MY date. As in, the date that I will hopefully be able to tell doctors and nurses and put on forms when I'm pregnant.
I hope.
It's crazy that we might be this.close. Crazy that this might be my last April childless. Crazy that next Spring I could have an infant to take on walks. Crazy that next year when I see all of the ads for Mother's Day presents my heart will swell with happiness. It's scary to say these things out loud because you always reach a point where you tell yourself that you are going to stop playing this game. You are going to stop thinking this way, thinking about what next year will look like, how pregnant you will be at this wedding, or at your husband's birthday. Start living in the moment instead.
But my heart still goes there... I still dream.
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