As any ladies who go through fertility treatments know, and actually, any women who are trying to conceive know, you do whatever you can to help. You take your temperature, you try to seduce your husband on the days that you "might" be ovulating, you sit with your hips elevated, you drink green tea, you do yoga, you follow all of your doctor's instructions and on and on.
I've been following everything perfectly. I've reduced my caffeine, I've lost 20 pounds, I've been taking all my vitamins, I've done all the tests that I've needed to. When my doctor told me to start birth control pills (BCP) a few months ago, like a good girl I went out and started them when I got my next period. When we met with Dr. V and one of her nurses a week ago, they asked if I was on BCP. I said, "yes!" and they said that was great. My instructions were to call the clinic when I got me meds and that they would give me instructions. I'd be starting my injections right away. I was psyched.
On Monday morning I spoke to the pharmacy and they confirmed delivery for Tuesday. Cue me jumping around in excitement. This was really happening!!!
A few hours later I started googling (something the clinic told me not to do) and I was reading an IVF protocol. I've read them a million times before, but for some reason I kept staring at the sentence that said that you have to be on BCP for 21 days. I kept thinking about it. Then I remembered that my prescription had said "take continuously." I started sweating. Then my stomach sank. I had freaking taken the placebo pills and I wasn't supposed to. I called the clinic in a panic. The receptionist answered and I said, "Hi, I think that I screwed up." I told her what I had done and she confirmed that I should have taken the active pills continuously. She advised me to call the pharmacy and ask them to hold my delivery. NooooooooooooooooO!
I called the pharmacy and they said that my shipment had already been processed but luckily none of my medications would expire before I'd be starting. Then I got a call from the nurse and she gave me my new dates. I'd be starting my lupron injections on May 5th and stopping my BCP on May 8th. Everything had been delayed by 11 days.
I was at work so I had to hold it together. I was disappointed. I wanted to scream. I don't know how I had missed the instructions about the BCP. In the grand scheme of things eleven days isn't very long, but I was so excited about starting. It's like getting to Christmas Eve and then being told that Christmas was still coming but you'd be celebrating on January 5th. Screw that, I want my presents tomorrow!
When I got home and told Lenny he made the best of it. It made me feel better but as I started cooking dinner, the tears came. And then my shoulders started to shake. This process takes a toll on you in weird ways. Through the tears I kept telling my husband that I knew it was silly that I was crying. That nothing had been screwed up, but I knew that he got it. It was just another delay in this now 20 month journey of starting a family.
Yesterday my medications arrived and you know what, it still felt like Christmas. It was sort of deranged that I got that excited to look at vials and syringes and needles, but it made it all so real. We are on our way and it feels so good.
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