I sat straight up in bed, heart racing, gasping for air.
A voice reverberated in my head as though someone was screaming in a small tiled bathroom. I couldn't make out the words but I knew what they meant. In the dark, my worst fears came to the surface. All at once all of my faceless fears hit me like an icy stone wall. "You won't ever be pregnant, you won't ever give birth to a child, you will be a failure at this, you're broken, you won't be a Mom," the words hissed at me.
I shook my head.
I hadn't even realized how much fear I had. During my waking hours I keep it at bay by focusing on the good, the positive, being proactive in my fight to be a Mom. Apparently in the shadows my inner monsters come out with force.
I was shaken but it made me face those ugly parts of my brain that I didn't even know where there. Time to face my fears and slay them.
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