This morning I slept in later than normal. I just felt so t-i-r-e-d. I chalked it up to emotional roller coaster that the two week wait is.
I turned on the TV and it was randomly on the country music station. I made myself some breakfast and sat down on the couch. A song by Randy Houser came on called Runnin' Outta Moonlight and as I sat eating my honey dew melon, I watched the video. In the video a young couple is out taking a moonlight drive and I started thinking about when Lenny and I first met and how magical those first few months of dating were and before I knew it, I was crying. Legitimately crying at 7:30 in the morning over a music video.
An hour later I was watching CNN and they played a clip about people helping others. In one clip this guy was riding his bicycle and he saw an elderly man walking alone on a busy street. He stopped and helped the man (who was blind) over to the sidewalk. OMG. I was in hysterics. How sweet, how wonderful, he (sob) saved (sob) that (sob) old blind man (deep breath and more sobbing).
A light bulb went off. Holy sh*t I'm pregnant! Either that or I've officially lost my mind. I push the thought aside. There is no way... that awful cramping yesterday... no way.
I continue on with my day and start cleaning the house. I find that I'm getting clammy and really really hot, so I kept taking breaks. Holy sh*t I'm pregnant I think again. I push it away.
After lunch I decide that I want a small bowl of ice cream (don't judge, it is the summer after all). After eating it all I could feel was this weird coating in my mouth. I drink two glasses of water to get rid of it. I think, you are pregnant you dummy. No way.
At that point I decided that I had to know.
I drove to the dollar store and ran to the "beauty" aisle and went straight to the section where the pregnancy tests are. What can I say? I've done this before. My eyes scanned the wall. Ovulation prediction kits, condoms, a urinary tract infection test (they have those??), but no pregnancy tests. WTF.
I refused to give up. I walked up to the register and see a couple of boxes. Jack pot. I bought one single pregnancy test and ran back to the car.
On the drive home I chatted with myself.
You aren't really going to do this, are you?
Sure as hell I am.
What if it's negative?
I'll tell myself that it's just because it's not first morning urine.
This could be a very, very bad idea.
I got home and made a beeline to the bathroom. I was so nervous. Literally shaking. This was it. I hit the 2 minute countdown on my phone and walked out of the bathroom into our bedroom. I got on my knees and prayed. After about a minute I went back in to the bathroom and glanced at the test. Nothing.
I told myself that we'd be fine, we'd just try again as soon as we could. We'd be fine.
I paused and looked at the test again. Wait, that's a line. That's a freaking line.
Before my eyes I watched as the line went from a faint shadow to an unmistakable pink line. HOLY CRAP!
Immediately I started screaming, which caused my dogs to start jumping around the bathroom with me. I did a really embarrassing dance of victory and then proceeded to stare at the test for I don't know, 3 hours. WE ARE PREGNANT.
I am pregnant.
Tomorrow I will be exactly 4 weeks pregnant.
Everything has changed. My heart couldn't be more full right now.
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